Kijiji Ad of The Day: Bob Rats

                                                                  Do not work for fc waste

Very very bad. Company.Very low pay.they get rid of you after 3months. One particular asshole named Bob Rats you out about the stupidest things and the retards in management swallow Oh dear.

Kijiji Ad of The Day: Dagger

   German Parade Dagger Second War Gothic Text

Beautiful Parade Dagger of WWII with inscription of German Gothic letters on the blade.  Means "My honour is Royalty"

Comes with half a can of Coca-Cola, "The Choice of the Gestapo".

Kijiji Ad of The Day: For Dummies

                       Microsoft Dynamics GP for Dummies

Youre no idiot, of course. You know that "casual Friday" doesnt mean your Beavis and Butthead T-shirt and a red vinyl miniskirt, and that fanny-patting doesnt say "good work" to a colleague. But when it comes to the rules for conducting yourself in todays workplace, you get nostalgic for the days when the only rule at a business lunch was "Stop after three martinis." Dont cancel that teleconference just yet! The Complete Idiots Guide to Business Etiquette has something to teach every smart professional about protocol in the modern workplace.

Wrong book, Dummy.

Kijiji Ad of The Day: Ugly Ass BBQ

                                         UGLY ASS BBQ

NOT THE PRETTIEST BUT IT WORKS GREAT!!! SIDE BURNER WORKS TOO!
TOP WARMING GRILL TO KEEP THOSE BUNS WARM!!!
NEW SNOW TIRES !!!!!!!!!!!

I hear this BBQ gets amazing traction in the snow!!!!!!!!!!!

Kijiji Ad of The Day: 2012 Ford Fiesta

                                     2012 Ford Fiesta

Needs nothing just time for a change plastic broke under front bumper stupid snow bank

I'm not sure if it's the fault of the snowbank when one dive-bombs them as shown here.

Kijiji Ad of The Day: Icon gloves

                                            Icon gloves

Barely used, no blood from jerk drivers in calgary who don't know how to watch out for bikers but there could be potentially if you're a tough guy. Size xl Calgary drivers: Look out for motorcyclists with XL-sized hands.  You may be in danger.

Kijiji Ad of The Day: BBQ machine

                                     BBQ machine for sale

A goof condition master chief BBQ machine eun by gas. We are selling because we have another. 
Please call xxx xxx xxxx

Where to begin?

Is it really a machine?  Are there moving parts?  Perhaps there's some sort of built-in tenderizer, or a mechanical feature that pre-chews your delicious BBQ delights. This is stuff I need to know!

"Master chief" suggests that one should be at least a Naval NCO to use it.  Petty Officer?  Warrant Officer...like that guy in American Sniper?

Also, I believe that "goof condition" indicates that the machine has been completely on fire at least once.

Finally, they have two of these remarkable devices! What are the chances?

Kijiji Ad of The Day: Magic Lamp

                             Magic Lamp – 1 Wish Remaining

Last weekend while cleaning out my parents’ attic I came across this antique lamp and teapot in a box of my grandparents’ old stuff. The condition is not great, but would look good on any mantelpiece or as part of a curiosity cabinet. 

Both belonged to my grandfather. He was an archaeologist, ending his career as Professor Emeritus in McGill University’s Anthropology Department. In his younger days, he excavated the ruins of Babylon, in Iraq, and was an avid collector of antiques from all over that region. It grew from his research on the development of Mesopotamian metallurgy and spiritualism during the First Dynasty. Also, as was common at the time, he would keep things he found during his excavations that were not part of the dig. But, I can’t tell how old this is. After all, that was his job. 

For both, their provenance is unknown and neither has been appraised. 

The teapot measures 16 cm long by 13 cm high, and there is an Arabic inscription on the bottom. The hinge works well. 

The lamp, or incense holder, is 13 cm long and 6 cm high. The cap has no hinge and is generally in good condition. There was also a note tucked inside it that stated, “One wish left. Use wisely.” We think it is my grandfather’s writing, but it’s a little too blurry to be sure. 

When my sister and I were younger our he would tell us tales about how the past was so different, that ‘magic’ was all around us if we only knew how to look for it, and how he knew his luck would never run out. He would read 1001 Arabian Nights to us as a bedtime story, always saying these were not just stories, and that he’d met some of the characters. 

If you’d like the teapot, lamp, and the wish, contact me by email. 

Serious offers only.

Originally posted April 1, 2016.  'Nuff said. 

Kijiji Ad of The Day: S is For Stupid

                                            S is for stupid

Great book $15 Chapter 6: Are Sideways Photos in Buy-and-Sell Ads Stupid or Simply Careless?

Kijiji Ad of The Day: Bluetooth Speakers

                Skull Candy wireless bluetooth speaker boombox

Brand new in box. Retails for $159.99. I will not look at lowball offers so don't even bother being a jerk with your rude low offers. If you want to offer $40, go buy a speaker from the dollar store. 

I wish we had a Forty-Dollar Store here.  I'd be all over this.  Jerk.

Kijiji Ad of The Day: Mitsubishi FTO

1994 Mitsubishi FTO only 48,000 kms! ONLY ONE IN THE COUNTRY!

STUPID RARE!!! This is THE only Mitsubishi FTO for sale in CANADA!!!! 
1994 Mitsubishi FTO GXP model with PRISTINE black leather, Heated Seats and all options

This JDM RHD Japanese sports car is the top of the line model and has the 200HP 2.0L V6 MIVEC engine!! Small V6 = 9,000 rpms! THIS CAR ONLY WEIGHTS 2300 lbs!!!! Basically 200hp in a gocart ! This gorgeous car has only 48,000 kms and it shows!!!! Runs and drives EXCELLENT
Has Aftermarket exhaust, air intake and rims 

The NICEST example you will ever find and the ONLY one for sale!!! 
WILL look at other trades around 10,000 plus 

Y'know what seems stupid?  Springing for the only example of a 20+ year old Mitsubishi in the country. You bet Canadian Tire will have all the parts you'll need.

Kijiji Ad of The Day: Tip & Strip Pen

                                         Tip and Strip pen

Remember those pens they used to have back in the 80s or whatever. They sure were awesome. Your mean 4th grade teacher probably took it from you though, what a jerk. So you should get one of these in case you don't have enough money to hit up the Top Hat or if your battery on your phone goes dead all the time and you need a backup method of seeing naked girls.

Shop local and do the community proud.

This is perfect in every way.

Kijiji Ad of The Day: Oil on Canvas

                                            Oil on canvas

Amazing art.oil on canvas from Butt. In case you're wondering what this Butt Canvas will set you back, they're asking $320. I had better not say anything else.

Kijiji Ad of The Day: Quad Harrows

                                                 Quad Harrows

Built set of harrows that work pretty not to bad eh. Back wheel pivots for wicked deadly cornering,and winch lifts harrows so u can haul arse to next drop zone. No emails or text messages....... Just an old fashioned phone call I love this one!  Who doesn't enjoy "wicked deadly cornering" and I personally long to "haul arse to next drop zone", whatever that means.  I don't even care, it sounds like a good time. Yeah, I had to Google "harrows".

Kijiji Ad of the Day: Dump Run

                                                      Dump Runs

Hey! U got junk? 
I'll hall it away for a fair price text or call
XXX-555-XXXX

You won't have to wait if u call me

Great photo, but I have some reservations.  Are U just going to relocate my crap to my Hall?

If so, no thank U.

Kijiji Ad of The Day: La-Z-Boy

                                          La-Z-Boy Recliner Couch

Good quality recliner by La-z-boy. We've had it for around 10 years, but it's still very comfortable and in good condition.
Free. You pick it up. I'll help load it.
No idiots offering me $3.50 in loose change to deliver it. Seriously, this happens all the time.

Love it.

However, to be fair, if what is on offer is a 10-year-old, kinda ugly piece of furniture, I wouldn't expect society's elite to be responding.

Kijiji Ad of the Day: Outboard Motor

                                   Johnson gt 25 hp. 2 stroke motor

hi i got a Johnson gt 25 hp. 2 stroke motor for sale it in amazing running order I winterized last winter was on my old boat but bought a brand new boat. I'm Ask 750 obo beside the idiot who owner it before who painted other than that it's in perfect shape never had on problem with it the most reliable motor. so please feel free to msg and ask about it. names Chris Dude throws "idiot" pretty freely for a fella that cannot be arsed with punctuation or spelling.

Kijiji Ad of the Day: Sothees

# THINKING OF SELLING / BUYING / INVESTING #

Why You Should Choose Sothees? 
* I Have True Passion For My work And I Look Forward To Working With You. 
* I Am A Full time Realtor & 22 Years Sales Experience In Canada With Very Good Name. 
* For Your Convenience 7 Office Location To Serve You. 

What Sothees Does For Sellers? 
* Free Home Evaluation, Free Home Warranty, Free Staging Advise And Much More. 
* I Use Different Marketing Strategies To Market Your Home To Get Maximum Money And Sell It Fast. 
* I Am Able To Provide Special Services Such As Cleaning, Fixing, Painting, And Packing. 
* If You Need Money To Repair And Fix Your Home Before Sale, Don't Worry. 
* If You Are In Financial Difficulties And Miss Your Mortgage Don't Let Bank Take It. 
* Prior To Sell Your House, Please Allow Me To MEET YOU AT YOUR PLACE And Explain My Service. 
* If You Are Not Satisfy With My Service You Can Cancel Your Listing Immediately. 

What Sothees Does For Buyers? 
* Your Lawyers Fee Paid By Me OR Complete Full Coverage Warranty For House. 
* Your Mortgage Approval Is My Priority At Any Circumstances, You Relax! 
* Your Credit Bad Or You Are Self Employee Or In Cash Pay Job, Let Me Worried About That. 
* I Made Even Bankruptcy Person To Become A Homeowner. I Don't Say No To Anyone, I Will Make You As A Homeowner. 
* You Don't Pay Anything. I Need Your Referral Only From You. 

What Sothees Does For Investors? 
* I Will Make Sure Your Investment Brings You Good Returns. 
* Power Of Sale Property, Fixer Upper, Customs Home With Construction Lone, Lands Sale And More. 
* You Will Get VIP Specials And Prices, Since I Work With A Variety Of Condo And Home Builders. 
* I Have Lot Of Exclusive Listing, Which Never Comes To The Public Or Any Other Realtors. 

Ok, the author of this listing doesn't really get how pluralization works and that's okay.  Five'll get ya ten that English is at least their second language and, anyway, I actually kind of like the earnest quality of the listing; when they advise "Don't Worry", you can bet I won't.

What I like best of all is that he or she types like Captain James T. Kirk speaks.

                                                                You. Relax!

Kijiji Ad of the Day: Radio flyer tricycle trike

Radio flyer tricycle trike

Great car toy for your toddler kids baby boy girl. Undies sex gender neutral, only used indoor. Makes noise and music in mint condition, $45 non pet non smoke home.

"Undies"?  I hope there's nothing subliminal going on here.
"Makes noise and music in mint condition"  Good to know.  I insist that my noise and music be in at least near-mint condition. 

Kijiji Ad of the Day: Sometimes the Title Says it All

Fools Ball Table

Asking only $20 obo

Nothing I type here will make this better than it already is.