Showing posts with label TSN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TSN. Show all posts

Monday, 27 February 2017

Cocktail of Strange: Doan Weighs In on Hanzal Trade, Sort Of

THIS is absolutely priceless.



The idea, I think, is that Coyotes captain Shane Doan is unhappy that Martin Hanzal was traded yesterday to Minnesota.  We can guess as to what, specifically, Doan doesn't like about the deal...well, yeah, we can guess.
This is what Doan had to say:
It's really hard.  Obviously, Marty's a huge part of our team and somebody you get to play with for 10 years, you appreciate and you understand how valuable and how you can't really replace him.  And the fact that we just continue to seem to go - I don't know.  It's hard.  It's hard to understand exactly.  I mean, you understand people's hands are tied and you just don't get it.

Wait, does he understand or not?

TSN added another layer of strange by inserting a two-year old tweet by azcentral reporter Sarah McLellan, in which she quotes Doan:

Doan: "It was not my idea, not my ideal situation. There's no one that's 38 years old that thinks it's a good idea, let's rebuild."

Friday, 24 February 2017

Pre-Trade Deadline Stream of Unconsciousness Post: Non-Event '17?

I was planning to type something about The Hawks' wants & needs early next week but, with the dominoes beginning to fall already, maybe I'll get after it now.  Before I get started allow me to state:
1) I'm winging this, so it might veer off occasionally
2) I have only the most vague notion of how much cap space The Hawks possess and have almost no understanding of the byzantine manipulations that Hawks GM Stan Bowman has employed to save / spend / create / destroy said cap space
3) I'm not convinced that The Hawks require much, if anything, so I'll talk about other stuff, mostly

The first shoe dropped earlier this week when The Penguins scooped veteran D Ron Hainsey out of Carolina for some guy who has to go play in Carolina.  This was presumably because Olli Maata is hurt again and Kris Letang is always a stern look away from being injured, so it's an insurance/depth move.  They sure didn't rush to snag Hainsey because of his vast playoff experience as he has, rather unbelievably, managed to never play a playoff game in his 14-year career.

Then today, The Ducks and The Stars cut to the chase, with Dallas dispatching one of the most talked-about pending free agents and coveted playoff rental , Patrick Eaves.  More about Dallas, shortly.
Was hoping to go to San Jose to get bulk pricing on beard wax or whisker juice or what have you.

The Hawks got in on the fun today, as well.  Sort of.  Inbound is one Tomas Jurco, formerly a top prospect for Detroit who has yet to get it together in parts of four seasons, in exchange for a third-rounder and bus ticket to Rockford for Vinnie Hinostroza.  This doesn't feel like an upgrade, as this move really just swaps in a fourth-liner, as Jurco has managed only 16 games this season due to off-season surgery and has not registered a point.  Apparently he's got some speed and, at 6'2" 190 lbs, provides a little extra size should a playoff series require that sort of thing.

What I find more interesting than who is Buying is which teams will be Selling, as the hunt for the Wild Card spots are as hotly contested as I can recall.  In the East there is really only one spot up for grabs, but there are currently five or six teams on the outside but within spitting distance of the eighth seed.  Right now, the easiest route to a playoff berth is to simply win the Atlantic Division, and there are up to five clubs in position to pull that off.  Carolina might be the first Eastern team to have identified as sellers but, then again, it's just Ron Hainsey, so far.  It's chaos over there, I tells ya, and because of all this uncertainty and the already rather thin pool of presumably available pending UFAs, this Trade Deadline Day is shaping up to a sellers' market, with a few teams possibly overpaying vastly for second-tier players.  When reports state that "teams" are inquiring about the likes of Kyle Quincey and Brendan Smith, well, the pool is shallow to say the least.

I've been enjoying some of the more lurid headlines on the sports news websites:

If the Habs don’t make deadline moves they’re in big trouble

Well, here's a theory: The Habs are probably in big trouble even if they make a move or two.  First, they have almost nothing to offer in exchange apart from draft picks.  Markov and Beaulieu are the only pending UFAs on the team right now and Montréal seem to like them, for some reason.  Even if they were up for grabs, what could they possibly expect that would upgrade them?  As Carey Price goes, so go Les Canadiens and, while it's not yet a death spiral, it's conceivable  almost certain that they will be battling for that aforementioned Wild Card spot in four or five weeks.

It will be interesting to see what The Maple Leafs get up to, or choose not to get up to.  
TSN and SportsNet have entire teams of freaks devoted solely to writing wildly speculative pieces on what The Leafs (and to a lesser extent, the other Canadian teams) need to do in order to ensure a playoff berth.  Sticking with The Leafs, what can they afford to give up that will actually be an upgrade?  There are nearly-daily articles pitching James Van Riemsdyk as trade bait....but for what?  JVR is a fine, if inconsistent player but, are any of the very few quality players thought to be available any better?  Even William Nylander's name keeps being brought up.  What?  Are they aware at all of Leafs GM Lou Lamoriello's general directive?  This is a franchise that tinkered endlessly, have been awful for years and now, with a bucket of bona-fide future superstars just starting to come on-song, by all means, keep doing that tinkering, 'cos it's been working great so far.  It's clear that Lamoriello, team president Brendan Shanahan and head coach Mike Babcock have studied the rise of The Blackhawks over the last decade and find their team in a remarkably similar position to that of The Hawks in 2008-on.  They're going to add players as they can while retaining what will constitute their Core for the next 5-10 seasons, just as The Hawks did.  They'll even have the benefit of hindsight, should they identify any flaws in The Hawks' franchise-building. These guys are not dummies, and I fully expect them to take a patient approach, hope to make the playoffs with what they have, but not kick themselves over any short-term deal they didn't make.  JVR can stay put, at least until The Leafs' young guns get new contracts and salary cap becomes an issue.
As fun as it is to mock The Leafs, I think they'll be the next Canadian powerhouse franchise, providing they exercise that patience and resist rising to the prodding of the fans and media.  Marc Bergevin, in Montréal, hasn't the confidence to resist and will, I think, continue to keep The Habs simmering in mediocrity for the duration of his tenure.

The Canadian sports media have also been chirping about teams such as Phoenix and Buffalo being in remedial rebuilding phases, yet they're also droning on about these same teams using their young prospects - we're talking Max Domi, Anthony Duclair and Evander Kane - as chips to assist these rebuilds.  Talking out of both sides of their mouths.

Things are a little more clear in The West, with only LA and Winnipeg within reasonable proximity of Nashville and Calgary, who are holding the seventh and eighth seeds at the moment. Even then, Winnipeg are in tough, having played 2-3 more games than the teams immediately ahead of them. Vancouver isn't necessarily out of the picture, points-wise, but are on a downward trajectory right now, with a dash of a mumps epidemic on the side.
This just in: Canucks GM Jim Benning has folded his hand.  He's canvassing his players with No-Trade clauses for lists of teams they would accept a trade to.

Next in line is Dallas who, in dealing pending UFA Eaves, have cashed in their chips for this year, so look for them to continue to sell off what the can, what they figure they don't need, and perhaps parlay those assets into a young goalie who might be less awful than the screen doors they have working there now.
SO, what about The Hawks?  What do they need?  Who is out there to fill that need?  Well, not much and even less, respectively and, given the tight confines of The Hawks' salary cap position, they probably cannot do much, anyway.  At most, The Hawks could use one more forward and possibly one more defenceman.  But who is actually up for grabs that could be slotted into the existing lineup that would improve the team, and can they afford them, anyway?
Dallas is selling and they possess a couple of  pending UFAs that are known quantities in Patrick Sharp and Johnny Oduya.  Neither are the worst idea, but Sharpie's $5.9 mil, even pro-rata'd, might be too much to bear and Oduya is currently on the DL.  There also might be some reluctance to again be raked over the coals by that particular team.
Vancouver, suddenly, appears to be selling and Jannik Hansen might be a good fit, being roughly along the lines of Richard Panik but with considerably more sense in his head.  One risks contaminating the team with mumps, however...
My totally-spitballing-make-a-wish acquisition would be Paul Byron from Montréal.  He's versatile, among the fastest skaters in the show and, with a salary of $1.6 mil, completely affordable.  He is not a UFA, however, for another year, and Montréal seem to like and trust him...
Of course, I'm the idiot who pitched for Dale Weise last year, and that was awesome.

I hope that wasn't too incoherent.  Catch ya on Sunday.

Friday, 9 December 2016

More NHL News and Non-News

No Consensus On Hall - Larsson Deal?  
He said: It Hasn't Paid Off
She said: The Gamble Looks Smart
All I know is that Hall is producing at a point-a-game clip and The Oilers defense is still dogshit, but what the hell do I know?

Once A Bruin Always A Bruin?
Ex-Bruin Pleads Guilty to Drug Charge
I get that Kevin Stevens is a Mass. boy, but I'll bet most people don't even remember the 41 Games he played as a Bruin.  Weird choice of associations, there.

We Don't "Do" Vancouver
Canucks Fourth Line are Teh Awesome
This is not so much about the game or The Canucks' bottom three, but rather this: SportsNet has nothing up today about the Canucks' game last night.  It's like it didn't happen or, better yet, The Canucks don't exist.  Yeah, either way...

The Habs: I Am Not Making Any of This Up
The following was gleaned entirely from English-language sources.  My point here is that this probably isn't even the really Good Stuff.
Should Price be Suspended for Blocker Punch?
Maybe, but the real question is should The Habs' Defense be suspended for being spineless do-nothings?
Habs Don't Have any Prospects that Other Teams Want
Also, players on other teams don't want to be in Montréal.
Galchenyuk & Desharnais Out 6-8 Weeks
Add Greg Pateryn to this list, as well.  But wait, things get worse!
Beaulieu Likely to Return
Yeah, that'll sort things out





Sunday, 25 September 2016

Hawks Newses and Noteses

Trouba Requests Trade From Jets
(http://www.tsn.ca/agent-trouba-requests-trade-from-jets-1.573171)
Okay, here's where Stan Bowman has a chance to make up for some things by doing one simple thing that would satisfy many needs:
Van Riemsdyk for Trouba.  Or, at least, a deal that involves those two players and possibly some "guys".
The Hawks get Trouba, a young, actually versatile D-man.  Win.
The Hawks jettison the not-at-all-versatile TVR.  Win!
Stan puts one over on The Jets' "braintrust" (I had to pause while typing that because I was laughing so hard my laptop fell on the floor) which isn't so much a win as just amusing as hell.
                         Not that The Hawks could pay Trouba but, y'know, a girl can dream.

TSN is Nearly Devoid of Ideas or Talent
This is not news.  Expect this to persevere as TSN will continue to broadcast only regional games for teams that don't matter, and the gents who shoulda woulda been working game broadcasts will instead attempt to write about hockey, hockey related stuff...and things.
There are a couple of writers/presenters at TSN who craft a good article and another fella or two who produce informative but not insightful reports.  And then there's Maude.
Jeff O'Neill is described as an "analyst".  Okay.  Has there been an analysis of how it is that Mr. O'Neill appears to be dumber, fatter and somehow less interesting each time he appears on-air?
Gary Lawless, banished to WPG to cover The Jets, so the  low man on the TSN totem pole, we must presume. Mr. Lawless reliably points out the obvious in long-winded articles that state and then re-state stuff we already know, which makes me wonder if he won his job in a raffle, or something along those lines.  Almost makes me wish I had purchased a ticket for that draw but, let's face it, if I had to live in Winnipeg I'd never stop vomiting.
Anyway, big G.L. did write a couple of interesting paragraphs this week.  Here's a taste:
If Russia fails to win the World Cup, marking an 11th straight best-on-best (or almost best-on-best) tournament without a championship, Russia has to do something bold – hire a Canadian to coach the team.
Hey, now that's actually a topic worthy of discussion, but maybe not on a day when said Russian team had an opportunity to eliminate Canada from the World Cup of Hockey.  Of course they didn't but, sweet jeebus, that's the kind of piece you run after the team in question loses.
Bob McKenzie: A-hah-hah-hah-hah-haaaaah. This dude has been around so long that one must expect that he has myriad reliable contacts and sources throughout the NHL...yet he continues to talk almost exclusively out of his ass.  How is this even possible?  
Finally, a general wish / request: until The Maple Leafs are relevant again, if that ever occurs, ease up on the relentless barrage of worthless articles concerning said garbage fire of a franchise.  Where else does a last-place team attract so much attention?  Today's gem was a bit discussing Brandon Prust's desire to prove he's "still got it."  Still got what, no business being in The NHL?  If so, yes, he's still got that.  Not to pick on B. Prust (but yes, totally picking on Prust), is it just not entirely ridiculous to spend so much effort covering something that does not matter one iota?
Hey, if The Leafs ever recover from being The Leafs, go nuts...write about 'em all day.  Until then, though, I wish TSN would aim higher.

World Cup of Hockey Update
I still don't care.

Hawks Training Cup Update
I know only three things:
1) Lots of Hawks are at The World Cup.
2) Duncan Keith has been skating, so that's good.
3) Luke Johnson was impressive at the rookie tournament, apparently.  Is he a Real Thing or this year's Roy Radke (who, oddly, failed to be this year's Roy Radke despite, y'know, being Roy Radke)? Is there any reason to be optimistic about Johnson or is he merely part of another cruel trick, such as the Kyle Baun prank of last season?  Remember, Kyle Baun, who unexpectedly made The Hawks to start the season, played a whole two games and then managed to score a goal in Rockford?  Yes, that.
                                                            The 2017 models are in!

Thursday, 30 June 2016

Four Things: Trades and Whatnot

Thing One: Subban for Weber
After spending much of the last week insisting that he was not shopping PK Subban, Canadiens GM Marc Bergevin distinguished himself as both a liar and a fool by flipping Subban to Nashville in a one-for-one deal for Shea Weber.  How is this a bad a decision?  Let us count the ways:
- Montréal "gains" a 30-yr old top-pairing guy who is juuusst cresting the hump.  Make no mistake, Weber is a fine player, but I believe we'll see his impact decline from here on in.
- They'll be paying Weber just under $8 mil until he is 40 years old.  Realistically, how many years has he got left in him?  Six, give or take a year?
- Subban is only three years younger than Weber but those three years are squarely in the middle of what should still be his best years.
- Subban earns a little more than Weber at $9 mil/yr but has only six years remaining on that deal. This may be important as PK will then be 33 and Nashville GM David Poile will have a good sense of how much gas is left in the tank.  Probably.  This is strategically significant.
- Bergevin just jettisoned the most popular player on the club, earning him no goodwill from Habs fans. PK donated a truck full of cash to a children's' hospital, for goodness' sake... what's Bergevin done, again?
The most ridiculous thing about this deal, and this is pure speculation but I think it's likely rooted in truth, is that the Habs' coach, Michel Therrien, likely has his greasy thumb print all over this deal. Granted, the Montréal sports media is basically TMZ filmed at a practice arena, but all signs pointed to a personality conflict between the coach and Subban, as in PK has a personality and Therrien doesn't. But seriously, how sad is Therrien to feel the need to discard an elite defenseman who is still developing?  Sure, maybe PK doesn't toe the line all the time, and maybe he's straining at the leash a little too much...but when someone's that good you bloody let them.  Possibly worse, now that I think of it, is the possibility of Marc Bergevin having been talked into this by Therrien. I'm not sure why Bergevin is so quick to have the back of a guy who persisted on trotting out a power play that included a player who failed score a single point in the season's first 32 games.


Thing Two: Hall for Larsson
I don't have a dog in this race at all, but it's pretty easy to see that it's A Bad Deal for The Oilers.  As above, there were faint rumblings of Hall being uncoachable, and another situation, perhaps, where the coach has to suck it up, take the bad with the good and work with that.  Hall is a thoroughbred and, while he put up good numbers with a pretty dismal supporting cast, some of his best play has been when he wasn't playing for The Oilers (international stuff).  The Devils are going to be better with Hall than with they were with Larsson but I'm not convinced that The Oilers improved their awful defense enough to make this deal remotely worthwhile.  Yeah, Larsson fills a need that The Oilers definitely need to address, but at what cost?  Well, now we know.
The only thing I can say in Oilers' GM Peter Chiarelli's defense is that he's perhaps looking ahead to future salary costs.  McDavid, Draisaitl and, in a few years, Puljujarvi are going to cost them bigtime, and the fact that Hall is off while Nugent-Hopkins and Eberle remain indicates that Chiarelli intends to persevere with these two.  Seriously, Pete, you couldn't get an Eberle + Yakupov deal done?

Thing Three: TSN is Ridiculous
Apropos of almost nothing and just a bit of whimsy, earlier this week these stories appeared simultaneously on the TSN hockey webpage: (these headlines are all down, now, so I might be paraphrasing them a bit)
- Tampa has Inside Track on re-signing Stamkos
- Stamkos unlikely to re-sign with Tampa
- What it Will Take for Toronto to sign Stamkos
- Red Wings close to signing Stamkos

Could these not have all been condensed into one "story" titled "Stamkos: We Have No Idea".

Thing Four: I Have Good News and I Have Bad News
The Blackhawks re-signed the not-so-ageless-but-whatever Michal Rozsival (1 yr, $600k) and the utterly-devoid-of-talent-or-anything-worthwhile Brandon Mashinter (1 yr, whatever they're paying is that much too much).  Great, having that goomba around will certainly help develop Motte, Schmaltz, Hartman or whoever's spot Mashinter takes.
NHL elite.  I hate that this photo even exists.  Get Ryan Reaves in there and I'll drop dead on the spot.

Thursday, 10 March 2016

The Beats Go On (and on, and on...): An Abridged Summary of Today's Hockey Headlines

From nhl.com:
Canucks' Prust done for season
Decision made to allow veteran forward to rehabilitate ankle injury.
No details were offered on any plans to rehabilitate Prust's complete lack of skill or common sense.


From tsn.ca:

Why Galchenyuk should stay at centre

The Montreal Canadiens drafted Alex Galchenyuk to play centre and since his move back, the young forward has excelled. Craig Button explains why keeping Galchenyuk at centre makes sense.
This is akin to explaining why swimming is a better option than drowning.

Better fit for the Leafs - Stamkos or Tavares?

Dave Poulin joins Naylor & Landsberg to talk about whether Steven Stamkos or John Tavares would be a better fit with the Maple Leafs 

Why stop there?  If they're going to write a Fantasy novel about The Leafs why not bring Gordie Howe or Wayne Gretzky in, too?  Who wrote that headline, anyway, Harry Turtledove?

From sportsnet.ca
"And now for our top story...what?  That IS our top story?"

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

TSN = Comedy Gold

Against my better judgement I logged on to the hockey page at TSN.ca today, but I'm sure glad I did. Without clicking a single link I laughed until I stopped laughing.  
Check this trio of headlines:

  • Ducks Horcoff banned 20 games for PEDS: Wow, imagine how awful he would have been without the use of banned substances.  Scary to even consider.
  • Blues Seek Arena Upgrades in St. Louis: Easy - build a new arena in some other city.
  • Hamhuis Most Important Player to Canucks:  I heard it was bad in Vancouver but this news is stick-your-head-in-the-oven bad.
I can't wait until tomorrow, when Gary Lawless (probably) writes Jets Are Bad at Hockey and Should Probably Move Back to Atlanta.


Thursday, 21 January 2016

Blessings from Jonathan Drouin

Whether he's an underachieving malcontent or a bona fide star-in-waiting is still yet to be seen. Whatever the case, we can thank Jonathan Drouin and his agent for two things.

  1. After refusing to report to AHL Syracuse, and now under indefinite suspension, it's pretty clear that The Hawks should take a pass on the guy.  Who needs the drama, along with having to give up The Sun, The Moon and The Stars for a player who might someday be as good as, I don't know...Alexandre Daigle?  As an aside, I've been to Syracuse and I can't say I blame him.
  2. This dispute between The Lightning and Drouin's camp have distracted the gang of fatsos at TSN from spending literally hours debating who Steven Stamko's wingers will be when (not if) he dresses for The Maple Leafs next season.
Oh, just shut your big fat mouths and, while you're at it, stop touching yourselves under the desk.

So, thank you, Jonathan Drouin, I really do appreciate what you're doing.

Wednesday, 9 September 2015

World Cup of Hilarity

Hockey and sports news websites seemed to have ramped up the chatter today regarding the 2016 World Cup of Hockey.  While the handful of articles I sampled this morning were largely informational, speaking of the various teams that will participate and the appointment of Peter Chiarelli and Stan Bowman as managers of Team North America, TSN was quick out of the gate with what appears to be the first of approximately 9,826,371 internet articles projecting the lineups of the various teams.  The article itself is pretty straightforward and I'm not going to pay too much attention to their predictions until at least the 9 millionth article is posted but, oh man, the comments section below the article is chock-full of comedy gold.

This lad doesn't seem to realize that Team Canada and Team USA players will all be age 24+, as Team North America has exclusive dibs on those 18-23 year-old players.
It will be interesting to see if McDavid can play himself onto this team.And at whose expense.  My guess would be Duchene or O'Reilly.

There seems to be a bit of confusion as to what Team North America is for.  Will there be Mexicans?
Where's McDavid?
Conner will play his way onto this team and replace Taylor Hall
Now, I wonder which one of these centers Sean Monahan is supposed to supplant? Ha ha ha
Maybe they're in Mexico, having fake I.Ds made so they can play for Team Canada?

You may be surprised to learn that this poster has a Leafs logo on his avatar-thingy.
I'm really surprised that Dion Phaneuf and Bernier are not on this projected roster.  There is no doubt in my mind that they should be on Team Canada.  Why?  Phaneuf is an excellent D-man, a bonifide leader and an excellent hitter.  And as for Bernier, he's a Vezina Calibre Goalie.
One would expect a presumed Leafs fan has watched a game or two the last few seasons, as Phaneuf successfully led Toronto to a "bonifide" (sic) 15th-place last year.  As for Bernier, I intend to refer to him exclusively as VCG from here on.

Ryan orally plays for team BUG??
I don't even know how to respond to this.
Ummm, I think Ryan O'Reilly plays for Buffalo, not Bulgaria.
Ah, there we go, at least partly.  I'm still concerned about anyone except horn players that are playing "orally".

At least these guys were trying to be funny.
NDP candidate in Montcalm riding is in favour of Quebec national teams.  Does the NDP and Tom Mulcair endorse this position?
No Mike Richards?  The nerve of Team Canada not wanting Mike Richards on their team!
I love it when my sarcasm is served with a dash of current events.
m really surprised that Dion Phaneuf and Bernier are not on this projected roster. There is no doubt in my mind that they should be on Team Canada. Why ? Dion Phaneuf is an excellent D-man , a bonifide leader and an excellent hitter. And as for Bernier , he's a Vezina Calibre Goalie.


Where's McDavid?
It will be interesting to see if McDavid can play himself onto this team. And at whose expense. My guess would be Duchene or O'Reilly.
It will be interesting to see if McDavid can play himself onto this team. And at whose expense. My guess would be Duchene or O'Reilly.
It will be interesting to see if McDavid can play himself onto this team. And at whose expense. My guess would be Duchene or O'Reilly.
It will be interesting to see if McDavid can play himself onto this team. And at whose expense. My guess would be Duchene or O'Reilly.
54 minutes ago
rye'n...
if they weren't doing this ridiculous young guns thing mcdavid would be on this team.