More NHL News and Non-News

No Consensus On Hall - Larsson Deal?  

He said: It Hasn't Paid Off
She said: The Gamble Looks Smart
All I know is that Hall is producing at a point-a-game clip and The Oilers defense is still dogshit, but what the hell do I know?

Once A Bruin Always A Bruin?

Ex-Bruin Pleads Guilty to Drug Charge
I get that Kevin Stevens is a Mass. boy, but I'll bet most people don't even remember the 41 Games he played as a Bruin.  Weird choice of associations, there.

We Don't "Do" Vancouver

Canucks Fourth Line are Teh Awesome
This is not so much about the game or The Canucks' bottom three, but rather this: SportsNet has nothing up today about the Canucks' game last night.  It's like it didn't happen or, better yet, The Canucks don't exist.  Yeah, either way...

The Habs: I Am Not Making Any of This Up

The following was gleaned entirely from English-language sources.  My point here is that this probably isn't even the really Good Stuff.
Should Price be Suspended for Blocker Punch?
Maybe, but the real question is should The Habs' Defense be suspended for being spineless do-nothings?
Habs Don't Have any Prospects that Other Teams Want
Also, players on other teams don't want to be in Montréal.
Galchenyuk & Desharnais Out 6-8 Weeks
Add Greg Pateryn to this list, as well.  But wait, things get worse!
Beaulieu Likely to Return
Yeah, that'll sort things out

Off-Day Shenanigans

It's time once again to enjoy the manufactured hockey "news" that somehow keep dozens of otherwise unemployable people afloat!

Little Mistakes Plague The Canucks

But why sweat the small stuff, though, when there's ONE big mistake that really matters: their lineup.

Teams Around the League Aren't Surprised by The Habs' Start

Of course they're not surprised, and nor will they be surprised when The Habs drop sixteen straight games immediately following Carey Price's next inevitable injury.

Will Trouba's Teammates Welcome Him Back with Open Arms?

Of course they won't; The Jets like being a -7 team.  Seriously, though, rumour has it that if this Trouba contract thing dragged on any longer The Jets would have activated Jim Kyte.

One Hundred Greatest Leafs

Hey, this list only goes to 63!

Tortorella: "I'm Going to Protect My Players"

"Because it's MY job to publicly demean them and throw them under the bus."

The Business Side of Hockey and Some Other Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics

Let's Not Kid Ourselves
Soon-to-be-ex-NHLers Brooks Laich and Ondrej Pavelec declared their understanding of "The Business Side of Hockey", suggesting that salary cap considerations led to their waivers/demotions.
What about being Bad At Hockey?  Would that have any bearing on their situations?

                                     Those high ones count as two shots on net.
Cujo II: Time For Your Shots
I just read that Brian Elliott led the NHL in save percentage last season with .930.  I am not suggesting that Elliott is a poor goaltender, as he is a quite capable goaltender, but I am suggesting that the same sort of shenanigans that allowed Curtis Joseph to sport some gaudy S% stats back when he played for St. Loomis may again be in play.  If Carter Hutton leads the league in that category this year we shall launch an inquest.

                                                 I've made a huge mistake.
Sell Me the Steak and Spare Me the Sizzle
The Montréal Canadiens seem to be spending a lot of energy trying to get Habs fans to like Shea Weber.  Guys, those maniacs will still watch your games and buy hats & stuff even if they hate the guy.  This should be, at best, a minor concern, far behind 1) If Carey Price gets hurt again we're fucked, 2) What the hell is Andrei Markov doing? and 3) My coach's ego is ten times the size of his intellect but I hired him so I'll look stupid if I fire him, right?